Traditions

Josué (00:00)
Welcome to GT Radio on the Geek Therapy Network. Here at Geek Therapy, we believe that the best way to understand each other and ourselves is through the media we care about. My name is Josué Cardona and I am joined by Link Keller and Lara Taylor. Lara you’re up. What are we talking about today?

Link (00:10)
Hello?

Lara (00:12)
Hey!

I am up. I want to talk about traditions. So every year my family and I go to a YMCA family camp for Labor Day weekend. And this year and last year, some things were a little different. A lot of the traditions that had been so important to us were either not there or we had to fight to get them. And…

I think it made me appreciate when we did get to do the things like certain songs that we sing, certain programs that we run, made me appreciate those things a little more. So I wanted to talk about geeky traditions. So one of the things that I think about when I’m thinking of geeky traditions, Nina and I started watching Hamilton every 4th of July. That’s a thing that we do.

or you know my mom used to watch, we used to watch, what is it? Christmas story, every Christmas, those kinds of things. But also, I know of some other geeky traditions around here like going to Comic Con every year. And I think I’ve been missing that. And so, I don’t know, I just wanted to talk about traditions. Why we like them.

what we do when they’re not available to us, you know, and I don’t know, how we kind of pivot if we have to, or fight for things to come back. Because that’s another thing that happens in Geekdom.

Josué (02:00)
I’m curious when you talked about the family camp and how things were different this year. Did it feel like something was missing?

Lara (02:06)
Yeah, I did. I felt like, I don’t know, it felt less like community. Like we had no, there were less activities that brought everyone together to meet each other. It felt kind of bare bones. The one that really got me that we fought to get back this year was, there’s a song that we sing at the end of every campfire and have for, I think it’s like 30, 31

that a friend of mine wrote and he passed away last year. So I felt like it was really important. One of the reasons I went up to camp to volunteer last summer was to help Brink keep that tradition alive and sing the song. And so this year they weren’t gonna do it. And a bunch of our, bunch of people who had been there before were like, no, we need to sing this song, it’s really important. And so it got budged on and I got to sing the song.

and it felt really empowering to have a little bit of change and also frustrating that I had to, that I had to go through that and fight to keep something that had been around for such a long time. And was important, clearly important to a lot of people who were there.

Josué (03:22)
Yeah, yeah, for how many years was that song?

Lara (03:25)
30, like 30, 31 years, yeah. And it was written for the camp by a guy who went to the camp.

Josué (03:28)
It’s on.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, maybe we can maybe that’s a part of it too of like.

Lara (03:40)
Mm-hmm.

Josué (03:43)
How quickly? Like, why would you, how does that stop being a traditional all of a sudden so quickly? Yeah.

Lara (03:44)
Hehehe

Right? Yeah. And I think part of it is sometimes there’s like at this, it almost became a thing where it wasn’t something they did last year because they had so few people who had been there before who knew the song. But I also don’t know what’s in the minds of the people running it right now. So, who knows what’s going on and the reasons behind it. All I know is we spoke up.

and we got to sing our song again. And that was really nice.

Josué (04:27)
What does it mean to you though?

Lara (04:30)
What does it mean to me?

Josué (04:31)
Yeah, like the song, like having that.

Lara (04:34)
For me, and I think this gets into what traditions mean to people, I think that this song, one, it reminds me of home. I think of camp as my home away from home. It is a thing that connects me to it. We’ve talked before on the show about how music can bring back memories. Music can… I remember the first time I sang this song 28 years ago. So…

It’s a big thing for me. And I think more so now that my friend who wrote it passed away last year, it feels like a way of connecting to him and keeping his memory alive. But in general, like traditions, there’s like a, it depends on the tradition, but a lot of them are ways to know what’s gonna happen, to have some kind of connection and tether to structure how things are gonna be.

When somebody changes up the schedule at camp, like everybody’s like, Oh no, what’s going to happen next? I don’t know. Um, I don’t know. It’s, it gets so.

It gets to the point where I’ll even outside of camp, the drive up to camp. Um, I know this road, it’s a windy road in the Santa Cruz mountains. I know the road like the back of my hand, I can drive it really fast. But now one part of it is washed out and it’s one lane. And so it takes me a lot longer because I don’t know what to expect anymore because the road has changed. Um, but those are things that we have to kind of deal with because, you know, rainstorms wash out roads.

Um, I don’t know. It’s, um, things were different this year and it didn’t, it felt good, but not good. Like there were some cool things that got added that I liked, but also like. It was a mixed, a mixed weekend, I think. And so it got me thinking about the things that I try to connect with when I’m at home, um, to kind of tie me to the things that I love.

I don’t know.

Josué (06:47)
Yeah. Traditions are comforting, right? I think, I think that’s why we go back to them over and over again. And then that’s quite an experience to have all of those different parts of this one thing that you do every year. That for the majority of 30 years, so many pieces were the same, such and so many pieces were different. Sounds, I don’t know. Was it, I don’t know. Sounds almost like unsettling in a way.

Lara (06:48)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah, it’s interesting because they even picked this year to renumber the cabins. They renumbered the cabins. And then we always stay in the same cabin, right? Well, and they, not only did this year we get moved to a different cabin, but then also the cabin that we got moved to was the same number as the cabin that we were in before, but a different cabin. So.

Josué (07:23)
Thanks for watching!

And you always stay at the same cabin. I’m assuming every year. Yeah.

Lara (07:49)
It’s the same, yeah, it’s just everybody was kind of thrown off because uh, people will show up and they’ll, oh, we’re in cabin one. I mean, uh, 12. Um, so things kind of shaken up. It, a lot of changes, good and bad. Uh, and I think, I don’t know. I have a different perspective on like, I feel like this year has given me a little perspective on how to take those things in stride, but also fight for things because

I think some of those changes might’ve broken me in past years and I’ve been like, forget this, I don’t want to be here anymore, you know?

Josué (08:28)
I mean does it feel like those traditions are still…

in place or like are some of them gone? I mean are they just different?

Lara (08:36)
I feel like the ones that are most important to me are ones that are that we’ve kind of established to stick around, I think. So I think that’s why I feel better about it. I’ve learned to let the other things go. Not everything always has to stay the same. And that is not something you would have heard me say 10 years ago.

Josué (08:48)
Okay.

Link (08:57)
Hehehehe

Josué (09:04)
I was gonna make an old joke, you know, but yeah, you know, I, yeah, I’m not, I’m not, I’m not.

Lara (09:07)
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, don’t, don’t. I’m gonna, my birthday is next week. Come on.

Josué (09:13)
Your birthday? How old are you gonna be?

Lara (09:17)
Josué, you’re gonna be 40.

Josué (09:20)
But not before you turn 40.

Lara (09:22)
It’s true. It’s true. Thank you. Birthday traditions. Oh. When I was younger, it would be going out to dinner with my family. Sometimes it would be the same. For a long time, it was the same restaurant. Other times, it wasn’t.

Link (09:22)
I’m sorry.

Josué (09:26)
Happy early birthday, Lara. Do you have a birthday traditions?

Yeah.

Lara (09:47)
birthday party pretty much every year when I was younger. We went to, we went roller skating a lot. And then the Renaissance Fair is usually around my birthday. So that is, that’s a big deal. So I have no idea what my birthday traditions are, what we’re gonna do. So I don’t know if any of them are gonna get, Nina is planning the whole thing. So I have no idea what’s going on, which is kind of…

Josué (10:16)
But you always do something. Okay. I’m asking all these questions because I’m, I’m fascinated because I have, I have barely any traditions. I have a brilliant structure in my life, let alone habits or rituals or anything. Um, let alone tradition.

Lara (10:18)
Always do something. Yeah. Always do something.

Mm-hmm. I know you’ve got some traditions, like, I don’t know. What, not if you don’t go to San Diego, you’re watching all the previews that come out from San Diego Comic-Con, all the trailers. Because you’d be texting them to me.

Josué (10:46)
Kind of… Kind of…

I get, I mean, I got hyped about stuff. So it doesn’t matter what, when it happens. The only thing that the closest thing that I’ve had to, to a tradition was it was a geeky tradition, which was E3 every year. Like that was like a holiday for me. I would, I would make sure that those times, you know, I was watching every single press conference live. Like that was, we had a few geek therapy watch parties. Yeah, yeah. That was all to cater my own.

Lara (10:54)
Mm-hmm.

Right.

Link (11:03)
RIP

Lara (11:03)
Mm-hmm.

We even had watch parties started at the in the Geek Theory Discord.

Mm-hmm.

Josué (11:19)
to have people follow along or join me on that. And when E3 stopped, I felt it. I still feel it. It’s like, it sucks now. Sucks so much.

Lara (11:29)
Mm-hmm.

Josué (11:33)
Yeah, that’s like the closest thing that I have to a tradition. But it was something that I looked forward to every single year. And it was honestly like my favorite time of year because it was the most hype that you can imagine about all my favorite things. Comic Con’s okay, but E3? Give me E3.

Lara (11:48)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

E3 has the game trailers and reveals. Comic Con, not so much on the games. Yeah.

Josué (12:01)
much so much good stuff and the terrible press conferences

like a terrible press conference to make me happy. I don’t know why.

What about you, Link? What do you feel about traditions? Do you have any? I’m sorry, Link.

Link (12:20)
Yes.

Josué (12:23)
Cool, thank you.

Lara (12:24)
Great. Podcast over.

Link (12:28)
Yeah, yeah, I think traditions are important as a way to build and strengthen and maintain social connections between people. I think it’s also a way to connect with ourselves as we move through space-time. It’s a way to reconnect.

with ourself in the face of our impending mortality, we know that a great big change will eventually come for us all and so the things that we can keep consistent, there’s a little magic in that. As far as my own personal traditions, I…

you know, this is, it’s hard to talk about because I feel like COVID impacted so much stuff that we’re touching on here. Friendsgiving was a very important tradition to me for over a decade, either, you know, hosting it myself or getting a friend to host it and doing all the, you know, the planning and everything, make sure everybody shows up. That’s always been important to me.

I more recently have been spending time with some of my friends who live up here who like to rewatch movies regularly and so that there are seasonal movies. When it’s 4th of July time, we watch Jaws. And then when it’s summertime, it’s time to watch all of the Pirates movies and stuff like that.

Lara (14:03)
Love it.

Josué (14:10)
All of them?

Link (14:12)
I don’t watch all of them, but they do watch all of them. I caught two this year, the first and the last, which I think is very funny. But stuff like that. They also do a yearly Tim Burton Fest in, historically in January as a way to cope with the end of the holiday seasons. It’s like, oh.

Josué (14:13)
Okay.

Lara (14:14)
But they do.

Link (14:37)
Tracey would get kind of depressed about it and be like, okay, I’m gonna watch Tim Burton is her favorite. She’s like, I’m gonna watch all the Tim Burton movies and make like bingo cards to play games with it. It was very fun. Though more recently she switched that Tim Burton Fest to summer instead of January because she was like, oh, I get more depressed in the summer. So maybe I should save it for then. And I was like, oh yeah, seasonal depression. Fun. Trying to think what else.

Lara (15:00)
Mm-hmm.

Link (15:07)
We watch Prince of Egypt, every Passover. I think that one’s very, very fun for me. I love that. I like to watch certain of my favorite spooky movies in the spooky season and Over the Garden Wall is of course very high up on that list of rewatches. I’ve already listened to the soundtracks twice.

Lara (15:12)
that was one of ours.

Link (15:36)
this month. So yeah, I like having movies that we’ve returned to because there’s a consistency in the story that we are consuming, but we change over time. And so the things that we care about and we respond to shifts over time, not necessarily drastic changes, but…

Lara (15:37)
heh

Link (16:03)
It’s always interesting to return to that stuff and get a little bit more insight on how we’ve grown as people compared to the static piece of media that we’re enjoying together.

Josué (16:20)
So your tradition is usually with other people, not solo.

Link (16:23)
Mm-hmm.

I think if I have any solo traditions.

Josué (16:31)
definition can a tradition be a solo thing? I don’t know.

Lara (16:34)
Yeah, I think so. If you do something like in a repetitive way.

Link (16:35)
Yes.

Tradition may not be the best word to describe it, but it can describe it.

Lara (16:45)
Yeah. I mean, I think you could. I think there are ways that traditions like I’m thinking about Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur coming up. And like there are things you do together communally, but there are also things that you do on your own self-reflection and like having a yearly time to reflect and decide what you want your next year to be. I think there are ways.

We mostly think of traditions as something that we do together or in a community, but there’s a way for traditions to be individual.

Link (17:24)
I think there’s also traditions that started out as a social thing and then that other person either is no longer available to share in that space with you, whether that’s distance or they died. Yeah.

Lara (17:38)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I used to watch the Rose Parade New Year’s morning with my mom every year. And before I dragged Nina into watching it with me, which apparently she watched it anyway, I would watch it on my own. Yeah. I think traditions can also, they can also morph, right? Into other things with other people, or like…

I’m trying to think of a good one of how my traditions have like, I mean, that is one. I watched with my mom and now I watch with Nina. And then this year, Nina’s mom, this is not going to be the yearly tradition, but we are going to actually go to the Rose Parade in Pasadena on New Year’s Day and watch it together. So it’s still continuing the tradition, but it’s different.

Josué (18:44)
One of the things about including other people in it, right, is like the passing of traditions or, are there any that you picked up from parents or other relatives or other people? Like it wasn’t something that you started, it’s something that you kind of, the torch was passed on to you or you kind of picked it up and kept going with it?

Lara (19:05)
uh, going to San Diego Comic-Con every year, uh, except for the last couple of years. I never went. And then Nina worked in the industry and so I started going and then it became a thing. Um, and since COVID we haven’t been, and that’s the first time, uh, like since for her, since like 2010.

Josué (19:10)
How does that work?

Lara (19:33)
she hadn’t been and for me since 2012.

Josué (19:37)
So that’s 30 years now, you haven’t gone to, is it still a tradition? Is it gone? Is it over? Ha ha ha.

Lara (19:39)
Yeah. I think it’s on a hiatus. I think, I mean, I think I’m more comfortable than she is. So I think who knows what’s gonna happen next year. But there are other things that I have friends who had the tradition of going to KublaCon a board game convention in the Bay Area every Memorial Day weekend. And so I’ve started.

picking that up. I went one year before COVID and then I’ve gone the last two years. And so that’s something that I’ve picked up on and wanting to try and go to every year.

trying to think other traditions. I mean, oh, Link thought of one.

Link (20:22)
Oh, I thought of one. I’m shocked. My stepmom, when I was a kid, one of the Christmas, New Year, Hanukkah season time traditions is she would make coquito That I guess she got that tradition via my sister’s… No.

from like an old boyfriend who was Puerto Rican. And I guess she really liked coquitos. So she started making it every year. And then I haven’t done it every year, but the past couple of years, I have made an attempt to make a big bottle of coquitos so I can bring it to whatever festivities I’m invited to and share in that. I think that’s a fun way to pass on. It’s a little weird because I’m not connected to the like-

cultural element of it at all. But I still think it’s valuable to be able to say, like, this is a Puerto Rican special drink, and it’s really yummy, and I want you to try it.

Josué (21:30)
you make it every year. That’s it’s your tradition. Yeah.

Link (21:32)
I make it most years. I’ve made it… I didn’t make it last year. I made it the year before.

Lara (21:34)
Mm-hmm.

Link (21:41)
And then I think I made it like three or four years in a row. And then COVID interrupted it. And then I tried to hop back on and then didn’t do it last year. I’ll probably try and do it this year. Yeah. Yummy beverage.

Josué (21:57)
Very sweet.

Lara (21:59)
Yeah, I think.

Link (22:01)
Well fuck you up.

Lara (22:02)
Similarly, like, yeah, also. Most of the traditions that I have kind of adopted are Nina’s traditions, because when you’ve been together in a relationship for a decade, you kind of, like, I sucked her into the Y camp stuff, and she sucked me into mostly her Jewish traditions, which include lots of good food, and good times with good people. We haven’t been able to have our.

yearly Hanukkah party since COVID. And now that we’re kind of ready to have that again, our kitchen is about to be under remodel. We’re really hoping, fingers crossed, that it’s done before Hanukkah this year, because it would be really nice to do that. And we’re planning on, when the kitchen’s done, also starting up our monthly board game night with friends to kind of have that tradition going and connect with people.

Um, that’s not one that we necessarily got. I got that. We just, we didn’t get it from each other. We just decided this is the thing that we want to do, um, to help build our community. So.

Link (23:15)
actually during COVID within my friend group we started a weekly zoom hangout and that was a really important tradition and especially that first I want to say year but it’s really more like that first 18 months real struggle and you know it sort of petered off after a while.

Lara (23:25)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Link (23:39)
I played some Jackbox games on Zoom the other night with some friends and I had this like real big feeling about it where I was just like, oh, I missed this. I didn’t think that I would like, obviously I missed the in-person socializing and I’m starting to get a little bit more of that now. But like I’m playing, sitting in my room.

on zoom playing on my phone typing in stupid little things for quip lash and I’m like, oh, I missed doing this. I want to wish I was still doing this a little bit, even though it does also deeply depressed me. There’s something kind of nice about having this consistent thing that we’re doing together, especially around gaming because you know, you know me, I love that shit so much. So yeah, that was that was an interesting realization the other day where I was like, oh, I’m

Miss Weekly Hangouts on Zoom? I hate Zoom. Why do I feel this way?

Josué (24:43)
Okay, I need y’all to convince me to get some traditions because I still don’t see the appeal. No, no, like the E3 thing, it was like, I don’t know, it’s happening every year, I’m hyped about it, I’m gonna just make time to make sure that I watch it. If it were 30 years ago, I would have at least, I don’t know, set the VCR to record it or something. Like I wanna make sure that I don’t miss it. So it’s like, I don’t consider watching a TV show.

Lara (24:49)
You still don’t see the appeal.

Mm-hmm. Traditions.

Mm-hmm.

Josué (25:12)
know when it comes on a tradition that’s kind of how it was for e3 in a way

Lara (25:16)
Hmm. But it’s interesting. Like it wasn’t just watching the TV shows. Also, like the hype and the communicating with other people, whether you realize it or not, you’re sharing it with the community. Hey, did you see this thing? Did you see that thing? I really want to play this game. What game were you most excited about that kind of thing? But traditions don’t have to be. Yeah, it is almost everyday.

Josué (25:40)
To be fair, that’s almost every day for me.

Link (25:42)
Hahaha

Lara (25:44)
But traditions don’t necessarily have to be a yearly thing. They could be a monthly thing or a weekly thing too. Like I haven’t, I haven’t like brought this up in a while, but like the weeks that we don’t record or the weeks that I miss my Friday night gaming with cast, Nina notices I’m more grumpy. The appeal is the connection with other people. The appeal is…

Josué (25:50)
What’s the appeal? What’s the appeal? Confess to me.

Is this why I’m grumpy all the time? Because I don’t have traditions. Damn. Okay.

Lara (26:15)
Maybe. So, do you want to be grumpy? Do you want to not be grumpy? Maybe you need traditions. Although, think about it. Recording with us, that is a tradition.

Josué (26:21)
No, I don’t want to re-grumpy all the time.

That was a job.

Is a job a tradition?

Link (26:36)
It can be.

Lara (26:38)
Is it a job though? You can have traditions at jobs. Yearly picnics at my, I have yearly picnics at a company I worked at. Yearly, um, like we would have, um, a yearly holiday get together in my office and everybody looked forward to it. And then there would be a yearly thing.

another holiday thing another few weeks later and we all bitched about having to go. So, yeah, you can have traditions at work too.

Josué (27:12)
I do, I do think, um, when you were talking about at the beginning about how, you know, like losing a tradition that can be, that can be really hard. And at least this year, I mean, you still went to the camp, things were different, but you still had the experience of going to camp. And I must mean that in some ways every year, it’s, it’s a little bit different. Different people come. Um, yeah, things are a little bit different, not as different as this year, but, uh, yeah.

Lara (27:29)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, it’s true.

Not as different as this year, yeah.

Josué (27:41)
That’s part of the appeal as well, I’m assuming. It’s kind of like you were saying, Link. It’s like that one thing stays the same, but everything else changes. So there’s still that context around it, always. But it’s still kind of grounding, I guess.

Lara (27:44)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. And this year, like, again, at camp, things change. There were a lot of good things. I got to see people that I only ever get to see this one time of year. I get to reconnect and watch their kids that I have known since they were like three or four. They’re now like in college and taller than me. And I’m like, oh, my gosh, what happened to these kids? But also I get to welcome new people in.

and share the experience and what made me love this place with them. And that’s also why I like when I took Nina to Disneyland for the first time, getting to share that experience with her. That’s a tradition for me that we also haven’t done since COVID started. We haven’t been to Disneyland. And that’s a thing that, like, I want to get back to. I feel like I can feel it in my bones that I need to go back.

But like being able to share that with her and kind of see it through a new person’s eyes, being able to share traditions is also a really cool thing to share something you love with somebody else and have them appreciate it and take what they’re gonna take away from it.

Josué (29:13)
We’ve brought up COVID a few times. I think that’s a big part. I know that was a big part of why it’s been so hard because so many of us lost that consistency, that, you know, and that consistency of the everyday. Um, but the consistency of like, Oh, it’s the holidays. Oh, it’s this event. Oh, this thing isn’t happening this year. And we’ve been doing it every year. Did you do camp in 2020? Still did it.

Lara (29:21)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah. They didn’t do it the big one on Labor Day weekend. What they did was they spread families out throughout the summer. So it was definitely the weirdest experience I’ve had because I didn’t normally it’s me and Nina and my sister and her family and my dad all in one cabin. And our friends Anjelica and Doug used to come to and then they stopped when COVID and they haven’t been back with us. But like that year.

Josué (29:50)
Okay.

Heh.

Lara (30:10)
It was just me and Nina in a cabin and my sister and her family in another cabin. And they encouraged us to not really mingle too much except with the families that we really wanted to. So like all our activities were scheduled with my sister’s family, but like, we didn’t really see many other people that whole year. And then the next year they started back on the Labor Day weekend. And it was again, weird.

because it wasn’t quite the same, the activities were scheduled out differently. But yeah, COVID screwed up a lot of traditions. And also helped us build new ones, I think, too.

Josué (30:54)
So you tried to convince me on all the good reasons, all the good things about traditions. Have you ever had a client where you kind of encouraged them to kind of start some sort of tradition to either socialize more, connect more with friends or family?

to kind of celebrate or face some kind of situation or life event.

Lara (31:27)
Definitely. It always depends on the client, but I’ve definitely had clients who, especially around the death of a family member, need some kind of touchstone and some kind of way to connect with that person or the family that are still here. So I’ve done that. I think about for my…

And sometimes I use self-disclosure. So I’ve talked about the loss of a friend and how I’ve connected with people who I’ve lost. So my friend James, who passed away on his birthday, I make sure that I do something super geeky. And it used to be Comic-Con and I haven’t been in a while. So now it’s like, well, I’m going to watch some anime that he might like, or I’m going to make sure that I…

plays a Legend of the Zelda game, because that was his favorite thing. Making sure that I’m connected, I feel connected with him. And I think, I mean, I’ve had clients talk about wanting to eat a certain kind of food, because that’s their loved one’s thing. It was their favorite dish. I’m gonna go to their favorite restaurant on this day to remember them. Whether it’s an anniversary of a death, or a birthday, or…

even a holiday that was really important to that person. So, yeah, definitely it’s good to have that either on your own, right? These are traditions, some of those traditions are ones that I had on my own, or with family to kind of get together, or family or friends that knew the person to kind of remember them.

Sometimes it can be good to also mark, like you said, another kind of event, life event, like graduating from college, right? I finished this thing and remember having a tradition around that and it can spiral into other things. Or you can do what I do and just go to Disneyland for everything.

Josué (33:43)
Yeah, I don’t celebrate graduating because that just reminds me of student debt. And, um, yeah.

Lara (33:49)
True, true.

Link (33:50)
I think actually that’s a really interesting point we haven’t really touched on is that there are individual traditions that you repeat many times. And then there are traditions culturally that we have that we only do one time or a couple of times. But culturally, socially, we celebrate it in similar ways.

Lara (34:07)
Mm-hmm.

Link (34:14)
for each person, like having graduation parties, that kind of thing.

Lara (34:18)
Mm-hmm.

Josué (34:19)
True, true, true. That’s interesting, yeah.

Link (34:21)
or promotion at the job or new job, quitting a terrible job, turning 40, all of the things. I do think that’s cool. I mean, yeah.

Lara (34:24)
or weddings or retirements, 40th birthdays.

Josué (34:24)
Yeah, 40th birthdays.

is interesting yeah like what do i do for i’m getting a divorce what do i do have a divorce party that’s a thing yeah

Lara (34:39)
Mm-hmm.

Link (34:45)
divorce party. Hell yeah.

Lara (34:47)
the divorce party.

Yeah.

Link (34:52)
Yeah, so I mean, Josué, I think the benefit is, is it can be a way that you can use to frame the way that you think about moments in your life as you move through time. It can be a way to connect you to people and things that you care about. I think ultimately though, the important thing is it’s something that you are choosing to opt into or choosing to continue to share. Because what’s the saying?

Lara (35:18)
Mm-hmm.

Link (35:22)
traditions are just peer pressure from dead people. So if it’s a saying, so if a tradition is not working for you, don’t feel obligated to keep doing it. Make new ones, find ones that have meaning for you, because I think that’s what it comes down to, is it is a process of meaning making in our lives. That is the purpose traditions serve.

Josué (35:26)
is that a saying?

Lara (35:28)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

I don’t think we’ve sold him on it.

Link (35:55)
Yeah, you know, he says that, but he’s here every week.

Josué (35:56)
Nah.

Lara (35:59)
I know. I know.

Josué (36:00)
Again, that’s not really a tradition.

Link (36:03)
You say that, but you also go boo hoo when we miss it too many weeks in a row.

Josué (36:04)
I am here voluntarily though. I am here voluntarily.

Lara (36:07)
You are here, voluntary.

Josué (36:13)
I get very grumpy when we miss it. Yeah. Because I’m afraid that if we don’t, if we skip too many weeks, we won’t come back. That’s one of my concerns. Yeah.

Lara (36:14)
Mm-hmm.

Huh, okay, okay. Like with COVID, if we skip too many years, we won’t go back.

Josué (36:35)
To what?

Lara (36:37)
to anything. Like I haven’t gone to Disneyland, to San Diego Comic Con, to E3. E3’s not thing anymore. Yep. It did.

Link (36:38)
to Disneyland.

Josué (36:46)
E3 died. E3 died of COVID. Yep.

Link (36:50)
Yeah, RIP. In peace.

Lara (36:55)
Yeah.

Josué (37:05)
Well, were there any other geeky perspective?

Lara (37:08)
We’re all mourning E3 right now.

Link (37:12)
It’s really sad.

Josué (37:16)
It’s just terrible. Everything that replaced it. Yeah.

Link (37:18)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Okay, well, let me let me submit to two out of three of my co-hosts. I would like for this spooky season to make into a tradition me giving you guys spooky movies to watch like I did three years ago.

Lara (37:45)
Absolutely, Link. I already have a list from you. You can give me another one. It’s fine.

Link (37:51)
What do you think? You in? You in, Josué? Hell yeah. All right. We’re, and we’ll, um, we’ll just say Marc agrees. He’s not here to, he’s not here to argue.

Josué (37:54)
I’m in. I’m in. Yeah.

Lara (38:01)
He’s not here to protest. Ha ha ha.

Link (38:05)
Ugh.

Josué (38:06)
So for the last few years you have given me a list of recommendations. Last year it was all shutter movies I believe.

I remember watching, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. I remember, I remember Nicholas Cage movie last year.

Link (38:16)
Shudder has good stuff. I don’t know what to tell you.

I can give you guys some really bad ones from Tubi What kind of vibe are we going for? This tradition.

Lara (38:24)
No

Oh.

Listen, Link, right now, my mindset, I’m about to watch the last episode of the AMC’s interview with the vampire. That’s the headset I’m in right now. And that sounds actually pretty damn good.

Link (38:50)
Gay vampires, got it. Filing that away for later. Like that’s not already on my mind. I’m sorry.

Lara (38:53)
Love it.

I mean, honestly, that’s the link link. That’s not that hard to go to that leap with. I like vampires. I like werewolves. I like what? But like, yeah, gay up the horror. It’s fine. I love it.

Josué (39:15)
Any other geeky traditions you want to bring up, Lara? Or Link?

Lara (39:21)
Link already got the Prince of Egypt because that’s a big thing in this house too. And you have to sing it. You have to sing with the movie. Like that’s, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Link (39:31)
Absolutely. Very important. I have a tradition of every year complaining about how there aren’t enough Hanukkah movies. That’s a tradition. I do it every year.

Lara (39:42)
That’s a good one.

Um, I may be about to break a tradition of mine of never beating a Legend of Zelda game. I’m so close to beating Tears of the Kingdom, so close. So I’m gonna have to come up with a new tradition of beating all of them. No, not gonna happen.

Link (40:01)
Oh boy! New tradition!

Josué (40:12)
I think Dr. Who for like almost 10 years had a Christmas special every year.

Lara (40:22)
Mm-hmm, then one year they did a New Year’s one, right?

Josué (40:24)
Then they messed it all up. Then they got creative. And it was, and the community, and I remember the Doctor Who community being, it was not great. It was not great to just have that kind of thing. But I thought that was pretty cool. You know, like you look forward every year, you’re not rewatching the old one. You’re like, you get a new one.

Lara (40:27)
Hehehe

See? This is what happens when people get creative.

Mm-hmm.

Josué (40:54)
Nobody really knows what to expect, but on Christmas morning, all the Whovians get to watch the new Christmas special together.

Lara (41:04)
I feel like that’s similar to like, I really, I accept.

Josué (41:08)
Not too many shows are like, do that kind of thing.

Lara (41:12)
Except for this year, I have been looking for every year I look forward to when like the cable TV shows start up again, like network television to and

Josué (41:21)
Yeah.

Lara (41:26)
Yeah, this year that’s not happening. And I, for good reasons, good reasons. And yet I feel like I’m missing out on things, right? I’m missing my shows, I’m missing my, all those cliffhangers that all my procedurals left me on, I’m gonna have to wait. And some shows that I was looking forward to watching again have been canceled. Yeah, but this time of year is definitely.

Josué (41:47)
having cancelled. Yep.

Lara (41:54)
a time where I’m usually like, yes, my shows are coming back.

Screw the summer. Let me watch these fall premieres. And that is not… Screw the summer, fall premieres. Mm-hmm. Listen, Josué, it is 82.8 degrees in my office right now. Screw the summer.

Josué (42:07)
Screw the summer.

Not a fan of summer, got it. The fall premieres make you feel cooler.

Lara (42:25)
I’m not a child anymore. I’m not a kid in that it gets, or a college student with a summer break. So, I’m old.

Josué (42:31)
I know you’re not a kid anymore. I know.

Lara (42:36)
But yeah, it doesn’t necessarily have to be a holiday season, but like different seasons we go into, like yeah, different things happen. We expect different things.

Josué (42:49)
Yeah. Yeah, again, my life has been consistently inconsistent. So I don’t really have anything like that. The closest thing to a tradition is getting movie recommendations from Link around Halloween. The closest thing. I have to really try hard to make it a thing. Send me the list now.

Lara (42:57)
Mm-hmm.

Link (43:05)
Hehehehe

Lara (43:07)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Link (43:16)
Hahaha!

Lara (43:18)
Yeah.

Josué (43:19)
forever again.

Link (43:22)
It’s going to take me at least three business days to fully make you guys bespoke recommendations the way that I like to.

Lara (43:22)
Yeah, I-

Josué (43:31)
Mm-hmm. Gotcha. I have to fill out a survey first just to see where my interests are. Yeah.

Lara (43:32)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Ah. Heh.

Link (43:35)
Yeah, to our listeners, if any of you would like this service, please reach out to me on Discord. I’m available.

Lara (43:40)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

But yeah, Josué, I don’t even think there’s like a game that you… I mean, with Destiny, when there was a new like patch or whatever, a new expansion for a while there you wanted to play. But yeah.

Josué (44:01)
Yeah, those are, yeah, some of that is hype, right? Like, with Genshin Impact, with Genshin Impact, I remember every three months there would be an update and me and Gian we would even like have wishing parties together. We’re, you know, it’s like, you’re like wishing for the new characters and all this stuff. And I don’t know, but that was like, that was like one year every three months.

Lara (44:05)
Traditions can be hype!

Mm-hmm.

Josué (44:32)
doing that it doesn’t didn’t feel we’re playing loose with the word tradition here which is okay which is okay but I don’t I don’t really think I have any again I’m not against them just it’s been it’s been hard it’s been hard to do that yeah

Lara (44:36)
Didn’t feel like a tradition to you.

It’s just not for you so far.

Well now you’re gonna have a spooky time tradition.

Josué (45:00)
The one tradition. I didn’t realize I already had this tradition.

Link (45:06)
I think you should start a new tradition, just for you, where every-

other month or every three months you buy yourself a new plant.

Lara (45:19)
Oh.

Josué (45:20)
No, I’m done with plants. I’m done with plants. You have no idea. I took it too far. Now I’m scaling back. Yeah.

Lara (45:23)
hahahaha

Thanks for watching!

Link (45:30)
Mm.

Lara (45:31)
I’m guessing the same with your Gundam models. Are you done with those?

Josué (45:34)
Exactly the same. Went, I took it too far. Yep. A nice tradition with like, you know, one every now and then would have been great. Yeah. Would have been a lot better.

Link (45:45)
I do think there is something about being neurodivergent and talking about traditions conceptually is meaty as an idea.

Lara (45:57)
Mm-hmm.

Josué (45:58)
I don’t understand. They don’t make sense to me.

Link (46:01)
I mean, I think just from the perspective of the way that many neurodivergent people process time and then applying that to the way that traditions are often chronologically based, it makes sense that maybe they don’t always match up very well.

Lara (46:01)
Mm-hmm

Josué (46:12)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I do like what you’re saying of like, every month as a reward to yourself, you know, like you do X, Y, or Z thing. Little things like that. Like I think that sounds wonderful.

Lara (46:38)
Mm-hmm.

Josué (46:40)
I can’t imagine myself doing that.

Link (46:42)
For a while, every Friday, I would post on my group chat a picture of a big alligator and write, it’s flat fuck flatfuck Friday. That’s a fun tradition. I could start that one up again. Would you enjoy that? Would you enjoy weekly pictures of alligators? Crocodiles occasionally.

Lara (46:42)
No.

I’m sorry.

Josué (46:58)
There you go.

Lara (47:01)
hahahahahahahahahahahahah

Josué (47:04)
It’s Adri.

Is it, if I’m on the receiving, if I’m in that chat group and I’m just receiving them, is, am I part of the tradition? Am I, is it a tradition for me if I’m just a recipient? I’m not partaking.

Lara (47:15)
Yeah.

Link (47:19)
If you are receiving it in the literal sense of you are looking at it and thinking about it for more than a millisecond, I think that counts. I think that totally counts.

Josué (47:28)
Okay.

Lara (47:29)
Yeah.

Josué (47:33)
All right, ciao. Add me.

Link (47:33)
Traditions are not always in actions. Sometimes they’re just about presence. Not gifts, presents but physical presence. Fuck. You get it. You guys get it.

Josué (47:38)
Okay.

Lara (47:38)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Josué (47:48)
Listeners recommend traditions for us, especially me, or include me in yours. Yeah. Include me in your.

Lara (47:54)
Especially this way.

Josué (47:59)
weird group chats so I can be a part of some tradition. Yeah, as long as I don’t have to be the one doing something, I think it’s much more likely.

Lara (48:03)
get a tradition.

That’s why I think…

Josué (48:14)
What do you think?

Lara (48:15)
I think you have been part of a tradition. TAGGS

Josué (48:21)
That’s not a tradition. It’s a tradition for people who like, it’s like, oh, like they wanna go every year. And it’s like, you know, that’s not, it doesn’t count.

Lara (48:22)
It is a tradition.

You’re still there!

Link (48:31)
I don’t think that the event counts as a tradition, but I do think that your emotional reaction to it is a tradition, and that it’s the six weeks before TAGGS time to lose my mind. I also participate in that.

Lara (48:37)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

That’s the tradition. Josué’s traditional pre-TAGGS. Bra- mental breakdown. Hehehe.

Josué (48:56)
But is it a tradition when you lost your mind and you didn’t get it back? I mean, you’re supposed to, it’s supposed to be cyclical, right? It’s supposed to be like turn it on and off.

Link (49:03)
Ha ha

Lara (49:03)
I mean, if it just keeps getting broken and more broken, then that’s what it is.

Josué (49:09)
And that’s the tradition, it’s just more broken. I think it’s been consistently, equally broken. Yeah. Nice try, Lara, but no, I don’t agree.

Lara (49:20)
Josué just because it is not your tradition, you are part of people’s traditions, right?

Josué (49:27)
Yes, yes, but it’s not like a tradition for me again. Like it’s not, yeah. But I do think it’s cool that it’s becoming a tradition for like, oh, like it’s tagged this year. Like I want to go, I’m going to make it, you know, going to make time for it. It’s become the thing. Yep. I don’t have that luxury.

Lara (49:30)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Josué (49:46)
Yep. I’m gonna be there. Loosely blues on mind.

Lara (49:53)
The Apple events aren’t a tradition for you anymore either, huh?

Josué (49:57)
I mean, I took the time off, but this one I couldn’t even watch the whole thing. I couldn’t even finish it this time. I think I’m done with them.

Lara (50:01)
If you are taking time off for something…

Josué (50:10)
I think I’m done. If that was a suggestion, it’s over. It’s done. No more.

Lara (50:15)
Okay. Folks, help Josué find a tradition that he’ll enjoy. Please.

Josué (50:22)
Please, please. Lara, any closing thoughts.

Lara (50:27)
Traditions are important if they matter to you. Yeah, I look forward to building new traditions with the people I care about. So, yeah.

Josué (50:45)
Link closing thoughts.

Link (50:47)
Uh, the rules are all made up. Do what brings you joy. And, uh, memento mori, baby.

Josué (50:56)
Mm-hmm.

Lara (50:58)
Mm-hmm.

Josué (50:58)
And then, yeah, just send traditions my way. You can send them through any of our community channels, which are in the show notes.

Lara (51:04)
Hehehe

Josué (51:09)
For more geek therapy, visit geektherapy.org. Remember to geek out and do good. I’ll be back next week.

Link (51:17)
mmBye!

• Hamilton the musical
• A Christmas Story (1983)
• ComicCon
• Renaissance Faire
• E3
• Jaws (1975)
• Pirates of the Caribbean film series
• The Prince of Egypt (1998)
• Over the Garden Wall
• The Rose Parade
• KublaCon game convention
• Jackbox party pack games
• Legend of Zelda game series
• Disneyland
• Interview with a Vampire (TV series)
• Doctor Who
• Destiny / Destiny 2
• Genshin Impact

Conversation Topics:

* Change
* Consequences
* Cultural representation
* Death
* Difficult emotions
* Family
* Finding Oneself/Identity Development
* Resilience
* Working with others
* Tradition

Relatable Experience:

* Meaning-making
* Blended Family
* Coming of age/Getting older
* Death
* Loss (other than death)
* New Life Event (New Rules)

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Find us at www.GeekTherapy.org | @GeekTherapy | Lara: @GeekTherapist | Link: @CHICKENDINOSAUR | Josué: @JosueACardona

Ask us anything through the Question Queue and we’ll answer on the show: geektherapy.org/qq